Hiccups Happen

January is considered prime time for setting goals and jumpstarting life. Why not June?

The year has not gone as planned, but that’s okay. That happens. I adjust. It does mean that most (if not all) of my resolutions for 2015 are flopping around on the dock like a fish. There are good weeks and there are bad weeks. Today I’m hoping to start a good week, even if there are some hiccups. Because hiccups happen.

It’s time to review my goals for this year, and to make changes.

1. Lose 20 pounds. Yeah, this SO hasn’t happened. I’ve been running regularly, but not doing the things I should be doing in partnership with that to lose the weight. I haven’t shed a pound. Or if I did, it quickly hightailed it back to my tummy. No, I’m not pregnant. I’m just fat. I still drink too much booze, my eating habits are inconsistent, and I hardly ever stretch. Changeable.
2. Sew 1 item every month. Well, I’ve sewn two things in 5 months. I have a pattern for a tank top laying on the dining room table, and it taunts me every time I enter the front door. The fabric is washed and ready. The thread is purchased. I will make time to finish that before vacation, because I think it will be great for vacation. Changeable.
3. Be a writer. I haven’t made time for this. I have other life/work goals now, too. I need to make time for both of those things, and treat it like a job. Treat writing like a job, and treat job hunting like a job, because they are. I do have some minor successes in this arena, and it feels like a huge deal, even if it’s a very small and tiny part of the whole. Changeable, and making small steps.
1. I talk about writing
2. I gave a draft of my book to a friend to read
4.  Adventure time! I so don’t feel like adventure girl. We haven’t done a single hike. Maybe a few walks. It’s been a rough year on my husband, but that’s a poor excuse for why I haven’t gone on adventures. This is perhaps the most challenging goal for me, since it necessitates some schedule coordinating. Possibly changeable.
5. Cook with love. I feel like I’ve been doing pretty well with this one! I’m trying to keep things fresh and creative, and balancing healthy with treats. Life is hard. Some success! Will have more!
6. Be nice. This one is so, so hard. It’s more of a challenge than a goal, I think. I am trying to think about what I say, and how I say it. I am trying to be gentle with myself. Forgiving. Continue changing.

There are victories, and further opportunities for growth, but aren’t there always? I need to visit this space more often. I do make things, and I am working on making this life. I want to talk about it.

What I’m making this week:

1. Plans for moving forward with the year’s goals.
2. Time to work.
3.  Moves in the garden. Plenty of fresh lettuce for a while!

Cheers!

A New Year, Fresh Expectations. Kind of.

He told me it'll get easier.

There were goals in the past that I set and achieved. Unfortunately with some of them I then stumbled all the way back to where I started.

Not everything has gone that way, so I'm going to celebrate my success stories first:

• I’m still plodding away at my writing. This year I am going to step up my game, and that means more blogging! I have set some clear and measurable goals that will keep me moving forward. 
• In 2013 one of my goals was to get married, and I still am. Go us!
• In 2014 I decided to run a half marathon, and I did. WooHoo! But then the running thing kind of… I wouldn’t say petered out, exactly. I plodded along without as much motivation, or a clear goal in mind. By the end of the year it was kind of a train wreck. Not just the running, but my body, too.

Which brings me to what feels like my greatest failure. A little over a year ago, on Dec. 12, 2013, I wrote about how proud I was that I had lost 15 to 20 pounds. I felt great, and I guess I looked pretty good. A year later? I have put 20 pounds on. This morning I weighed in at 188 lbs., and frankly I’m appalled.

Fresh mud on these tires!

How the hell did this happen???

The running tapered down. I stopped “shredding” with Jillian Michaels. Alcohol. Butter. Potato chips. Bacon. Sheer laziness.

I was discussing it with a friend the other day, who is dealing with some of the same issues, and she said that she’d heard that sometimes marriage will do that to you. You get your man, you look good in the dress, you let it all go.

There is truth in that, but I don’t feel like I’m that woman. I just feel bad in my body. It doesn’t feel good. I know I’m getting older, but I want it to keep doing things!

So come on, self. Let’s get back to the good stuff.

What am I making this week?

• Plans for the year.
• Dinner, with love!
• Changes to my life. I’m trying to change the way I work every day, and plan every week.
• Better habits to enrich my life.